Recently I was mentioned in a Traveler Style series on Johnny Jet and one of the questions asked for my favorite business class lounge at an airport.
The El Al business class lounge at JFK (the King David Lounge) is the only one I’ve ever experienced. Generally I book the cheapest possible plane, train, or bus tickets, and so obviously those never come with any fancy amenities. I clearly did not look like I belonged in that lounge, but I tried to carry myself in a way that made me look like I knew exactly what I was doing. I am a firm believer in the Fake It ‘Til You Make It school of life. This was particularly difficult to accomplish in the lounge, as my first instinct upon entering was to run around and touch everything.
There was so much food. There was a kitchen area with two refrigerators — one containing sodas and juices and the other containing alcohol. There were hors d’oeuvres laid out on fancy little plates — cheeses, bread, olives, spreads that I couldn’t identify. There were pastries and salads and coffee and tea — none of this can be free, I thought to myself. This is not how the world works.
I made a quick loop around this kitchen area — not touching anything, just observing. Everyone seemed to be helping themselves pretty freely, and there were employees refreshing the plates before they even became half-empty. I went back to the table I’d claimed and accessed the free wifi on my phone. I Googled, “Am I allowed to eat the food in the El Al business class lounge?” and skimmed the website until I found direct mention of “complimentary refreshments.”*
After I’d bypassed all of the fancy-looking food and grabbed a Diet Coke and a few cookies– just to reinforce the blatant fact that I was a 24 year old kid surrounded by all of these really impressive businesspeople — I returned to my table and opened my laptop. I was too nervous to actually get any work done and I didn’t dare go on Facebook, but this at least made me look like I had something important to do. I also took out the book I was reading, the very thick and important-looking From Beirut to Jerusalem. When infiltrating the big leagues, make sure to bring props.
I’d been people-watching for several minutes before I realized that I was just blatantly staring at some of these travelers, first looking for celebrities and then trying to figure out what each of these people did for a living to be able to hang out in business class lounges as if it was just a normal part of the weekend. I was absolutely ecstatic when I saw what appeared to be a mahogany cane stand in one corner — a mahogany cane stand!** Thank God I did not giggle.
I did, however, take a few pictures with Instagram, and I snuck a few pieces of fruit in my backpack for later (free food, take advantage when you can). You can dress the kid up and put her in a fancy lounge in the airport, but you can’t force her to act like one of the adults.
I mean, seriously, a mahogany cane stand.
*I did. You can check the internet history on my phone.
** I’m pretty sure this was a cane stand. If it wasn’t, I don’t want to know the truth.
“Complimentary refreshments” may be the best search result to ever come up on Google.
Thanks for tips about props. They do seem to make everything that much more legitimate.
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I’m glad that my brief foray into the world of acting in 6th grade taught me the importance of props. Where would I be if I hadn’t played that old woman in Bye Bye Birdie?
Hi! I just clicked over from Sara’s blog, read your “about” blurb, and had to laugh. When I met David Sedaris, he also asked if I’m a gemini! (I’m not, though.) I blogged about it here: http://www.diaryofwhy.com/2008/11/why-signs-are-for-suckers.html
Too funny; I had to share.
Diary of Why recently posted..Why curiosity killed the rat: a tale of a rat and its tail
Hey! I’m sorry it took me so long to respond, for some reason WordPress marked this comment as spam? Fail. Haha I’m glad someone else shares my love for David Sedaris, I think he is one of the most hilarious people I’ve ever come across. And apparently he has a thing for Geminis? Thank you so much for stopping by from Sara’s!
im cracking up because i think your experience was very similar to my first airline lounge experience. i felt really awkward and like an olive garden girl inside of the restaurant at the peninsula (uh oh chicago reference). i was good once i learned they offered free magazines (canadian ones…because i already had subscriptions to all the good US ones…so that would not have excited me of course).
this was the air canada lounge in toronto, by the way. which i visited oh so often as i was always in the airport for work travel.
Megan recently posted..The Intense Hues of Autumn in Frogner Park
Woo Chicago references! Keep em coming. I hope I get to experience another lounge soon but we’ll see how my luck plays out. I’m glad I’m not the only one who felt like a kid in the big kids’ lounge, though